It seems ironic that I put off writing this article for weeks. I was busy caught up in life and trying to keep balance – well, that’s at least what I told myself as I did other things repeatedly other than write this. So, do you ever wonder what that procrastination is about? Often we think procrastination is about laziness or poor time management. However, it seems that isn’t the case.
Procrastination was studied in 2013 by Dr. Pychyl and Dr. Sirois from the Carleton University of Ottawa, USA. They found that procrastination is about managing immediate emotions or moods. We put things off because we don’t like something about the task, that then link into feelings of anxiety, fear, self-doubt or low self-esteem. I’m a big believer that we hold onto shame secretly in our lives and deep feelings of self-doubt link into shame conversations such as “am I enough?” and “will I be accepted?”. So, we avoid the task because it feels uncomfortable.
I recently put off putting a presentation together. I told myself it was because I was busy - however, in reality, I was frightened that the presentation would be criticised if I didn’t do a good job. I made it about time, when in reality, it was about my fear of acceptance. The problem is that when we go ahead with procrastination and the belief we want to hold onto, it allows the negative thoughts to compound, and every time we think about the task, it builds the stress and anxiety. Putting off the task by procrastinating treats the stress for some time, we reward ourselves by completing another activity and have short term respite from the anxiety (putting off completing an assignment by cleaning our bedroom). It can then become a cycle of self-blame while we try to help ourselves feel better.
Sounds a bit messy doesn't it? But we can help ourselves by identifying that procrastination is not about getting things done (like cleaning your room) – it's about emotions. As humans, we like to reward ourselves and we set up pathways in our brain. We need to set up new pathways and reward ourselves without avoiding the initial tasks.
There are a few tools to help us:
1. Work out what’s going on for you when you procrastinate. Be your own personal investigator. What’s going on in your head and your body? As you notice it, does it go away or increase?
2. Think about what you can do next. I always say: you eat an elephant one bite at a time. Try and do just what you have to do next.
3. If you forgive yourself for the procrastination, you procrastinate less next time and encourage yourself to identify the reasons why you are procrastinating in the first place.
4. Self-compassion is also a useful practice. The more we procrastinate, the harsher we are on ourselves and more critical. It’s important to have a bit of self-kindness to motivate ourselves and have improved self-esteem and optimism.
5. Talk to yourself. Reframe the task by reminding yourself how previous times have gone that worked out OK, what will it mean to have the task completed, how will you feel when it’s done?
6. Lastly, tackle the things you use to avoid doing a task. Make it harder to avoid the task and put roadblocks in the way. If you are tempted by playing a game on your phone rather than starting the assignment, delete the game from your phone.
Good luck with tackling things when they need doing! Reflect and learn about yourself. And leave the laundry cupboard alone!
